We're like a lot better than the average bears
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
