I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
