Tell her she can't have a vagina
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
