no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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