I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
