i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
