you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
