Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
home. puking in laundry basket.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
