the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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