yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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