Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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