when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
