after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
