I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
