she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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