I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
