How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
