A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
