just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
