i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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