I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
