Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
