Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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