My friends, they love my intelligence
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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