Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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