The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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