I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm always down for nudity.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
