I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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