eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
