So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Come on in and take your pants off
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