As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
