Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
and she was petting her beer can
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
