i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
