I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
