We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
