I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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