dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
