I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
