this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
