party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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