my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he thought i was a dude.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
