Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
