I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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