Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so let's talk penis.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
