he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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