Come see our sink grown plant.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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