Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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