no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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