I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
