Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Four minutes until I can fart!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
