Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
